Opinions May Differ

Last night I went to the Hampstead Theatre to see Michael Frayn’s comedy Alphabetical Order. The play is set in the library of a local rag and centres around the staff of the paper and their relationships with each other; in particular, with the paper’s librarian, the ever-so-lovely Lucy, played by Imogen Stubbs. We join the story as Lesley (played by Chloe Newsome, or Vicky McDonald from Corrie) joins the paper and attempts to ‘straighten out’ the office by sorting and alphabetising the library’s shambolic contents.

The play introduces characters such as the sufferable enthusiast Geoffrey (Ian Talbot) who waxes lyrical on the qualities of every member of staff and Nora (Penelope Beaumont), the harmless nuisance, who patronises everyone and puts all their backs up. The characters are recognisable and digestible – the smart-arse, the mad-arse, the clown, the stiff and the sweetheart. I enjoyed it because I identified with its flavour. We’ve all worked in a place like this. Their office could easily be summed up by the horrendous mug phrase ‘You Don’t Have To Be Mad To Work Here, But It Helps’ (chortle chortle).

The original production of Alphabetical Order actually opened in March 1975 at the Hampstead Theatre, so it was somewhat of a homecoming as well as being a nostalgic reminder of ‘what comedy once was’. However, I have to admit – not for me. I don’t remember 1975. I wasn’t born.

Which is why I was fascinated by how much the opinions of the performance differed. In fact, immediate reviews were so starkly different it was astonishing. My sister and I (both in our mid twenties) tittered at the silliness, smirked at the romance and swooned at just how wonderful Imogen Stubbs is. By contrast, my mum and dad (both in their mid fifties) sighed at the one-liners, yawned at the dialogue and were on the verge of giving up and going to the pub half way through.

So… why such different critiques? The actors were all fantastic, the direction infallible. Rather than get into an argument about it I asked my mum: why the difference of opinion? According to her, it was because she and my dad had seen it all before. Yes, it was a reminder of ‘what comedy once was’ but that comedy wasn’t necessarily good comedy. It had no bite; it had no ‘dark side.’ To my sister and me it was simply innocuous fun. The characters were familiar, the dialogue was swift-moving and chipper and the plot line was tied up nicely at the end. To our ‘modern minds’ it followed a format which is followed by sitcoms beamed onto every television screen throughout the world every single day.

Perhaps we now expect less of our viewing experiences… Perhaps our generation is dumber than the last…

Hmmm…

All I know is I had a jolly nice evening. And I do love that Imogen Stubbs.


photography by Simon Annand

The Yacht That Rocks

I do like a good stroll along the Thames – it re-asserts my London-ness as well as providing a completely different landscape to the heady hills of Hampstead. Last week, on one of these strolls, I noticed that one of boats of the Embankment pier – the only permanently moored yacht, no less – was being spruced up both inside and out. At the entrance I encountered a charming gentleman by the name of Prince Sidi Mohammed Muzzafar Khan who recently purchased the yacht. He explained to me that, come mid-May, he will have gained full control of the helm (excuse the pun) and will have transformed the vessel into a new and very exclusive members-only club.

And WHAT a transformation! I remember The Yacht At Temple Pier as a slightly seedy nightclub which celebrated its heyday about a decade ago. A nice idea, but it never seemed to attract quite the right crowd. Nevertheless, it was very evident from a peek inside the new and improved Yacht, that big changes are afoot.

Khan (or “Poncho” to his friends) was first cousin to the late Benazir Bhutto and has been a club owner for most of his life. During the 1990s he partnered up with Bob Guccione, the owner of Penthouse International, and the notorious Dai Llewellyn, to start up the Club Royale in Mayfair. Khan is therefore very au fait with the concept of exclusivity and with the crowd which he will be trying to pull.

The Yacht which, prior to its stint as a nightclub, hosted parties patronised by the Queen, Winston Churchill and Bhutto herself, will once again be a venue with strictly VVIP access only. Khan is the first to admit that his venture is not overly ‘Credit Crunch-friendly’ as it aims to woo some of the world’s wealthiest ladies and gents. Only 300 people will be invited to become ‘Governor Members’ and will pay £10,000 for the privilege. Nevertheless, the hefty price tag will come with an array of fabulous perks including a 24ct Gold plate membership card, the sole use of the Yacht for one day a year and exclusive use of a world class restaurant, for which they’re hiring a head chef worth £100,000 per annum. They also hope to act as the London base for a number of people, offering business facilities such as free use of meeting rooms, a business telephone answering service and 1,000 personalised business cards.

For me, the draw is its location and the romance of the River Thames, which I perceive to be a severely underused attraction. The terrace area on top of the Yacht allows view of Millennium Bridge, the Wheel, the Tate Modern, the Oxo Tower, the Houses of Parliament and Big Ben, the NT, the Gherkin, St Paul’s – all of London’s most prestigious landmarks. If only I had a spare ten grand…